Wednesday, November 14, 2007

...Oh Shag...it's Dora the explorer


Today I have some time off and - instead of burying myself in paperwork or writing songs in the studio for my A&R people - I am sitting, horrified, beside my 3yr old nephew watching "Dora the explorer".

This vapid, primary coloured shite is what passes for semi educational and fun programming for the under 5's these days ... and it is a nightmare.

I'm baffled by what the programme makers are promulgating as an aspiration for 4yr old females. There are certain barriers to what I presume is a fanciful notion that Dora (the explorer..) will turn a generation of little girls and boys into amazonian eco warriers.

To wit:

1. A relationship with an adult male monkey is just not suitable for 4 yr old females - they cannot "just be friends".
2. Crocodiles do not need rescued, should not be cuddled nor should little girls jump into the water beside them to frolic.
3. The social work department would lock up any parent who allows their child to wander aimlessley in the jungle as Dora does week on week.
4. Dora likes to light little camp fires in the middle of forests then she just walks off and leaves them smoldering - she should work for the Greek government.
5. Dora is always ready to help her animal friends - thus disturbing the fragile eco balance of any system she finds herself in - great swathes of recently extinct rare species attest to Dora's finely honed biological knowledge - forget the greek government she should work for the americans. 

Why not simply give Dora some heroin, a needle and be done with it.

Honestly!!